@BeijingPalmer

As a former member of the Leopards Eating People’s Faces party until it became extremist, I can tell you that the Let’s Not Eat Anyone’s Face party will get nowhere unless it elects a candidate who wants leopards to eat *some* people’s faces.

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@Havish_AF

Me: I never lie.
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Some people say they have a hamster on a wheel in their head. I have 4 squirrels fighting over an acorn.

@OMGSoOverIt

Dance like your kid isn’t secretly making a TikTok to humiliate you.

@dril

that picture of all the construction workers sitting on a steel beam eating lunch except its me & the boys sitting on the floor at game stop

@AsYouNotWish

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@OohSnapItsChris

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@shopkins776

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@NINETIREDBUGS

the moon has NO GENDER and IS MY BEST FRIEND and SAID YOU GUYS HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME OR IT’S CANCELING TIDES FOREVER

@Just_BCS

You’re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.