I’m sorry I said your baby looks like a hairless hamster. But in my defense, you shouldn’t have had a hairless hamster for a baby.
Asking men how many wheels their trucks have and scoffing, regardless of the answer.
You Might Also Like
Batman Begins Twerking #AddaWordRuinaMovie
In Canada, she’s Kilometery Cyrus.
I’m gonna leave this world just like I came in, dawg!
“Yo, for sure. Kickin and screamin!”
Nah, brah. On a giant spaceship.
You’re like a dressing room
You make me want to take my clothes off and try things
Me: I got bitten on my walk by a Great Dane
Her: My God – imagine if it had been a small child
Me: I could have fought off a small child, Alice
7: Its the last week of school so we don’t have to go. Can I stay home?
Me: Ha! Nice try, kid.
Teacher: Its true.
Me: Ha! NICE TRY, TEACHER.
Out of curiosity, where were you all thinking of moving after you’re done destroying the Earth? ‘Cause I assume you’ve thought that through.
Her: Why are we in this McDonalds drive though? You promised we were going for a romantic picnic under the stars.
Me: *Opens sun roof*
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.