I think it’s a bad sign that when 9 tries to play charades, everyone’s first guess is “constipation.”
At Dunkin Donuts-
8: Can I get choc. milk?
Me: We have that at home.
8: We have coffee at home too…
Me: WHO TAUGHT YOU LOGICAL THINKING?!
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Me: I’ve read the Bible cover to cover
Her: Yeah? Prove it.
H: What is the first sentence in it?
M: “Do not remove from motel”
Facilitator: Any questions about the sexual harrassment course before we start?
Me: Is “harass” one word or two?
The first few months of a baby’s life are crucial and so it’s important that they see mom or dad playing Mario Kart.
Son: How does this end?
Me: Well, some people go to heaven, but others go to hell where they are tortured forever in a horrifying apocalyptic wasteland
Son: No this movie
Me: Shrek marries Fiona
Ahh, birds chirping outside my window.
*lets the cat out*
*goes back to sleep*
Frenchmen, still hiding inside The Statue of Liberty: soon.
Me: Pikachu, I choose you!
Pikachu: The restraining order says 500 feet
Ahhh…….I love the sounds of autumn; that old familiar crunch of Halloween candy wrappers on the floor.
How is there not an STD Clinic called, “Clap on Clap off”?