Hoping for an even stronger cup of coffee, I just replaced the water in my coffee maker with coffee. Now we wait.
At my age, you can spell Ibuprofen and Acetaminophen without googling it.
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*flips over table*
*table flips back up*
Table: You got a problem?
Me: DO YOU?
Me: I SAID DO WE HA-
[gestures to the parents of a crying baby] shhhh, please. my foot’s asleep
COWORKER: Hi, this is embarrassing. *whispers* can I borrow a tampon?
ME: Sure, just leave it on my desk when you’re done.
Remember when we used to call the “self check-out” – ‘Theft’?
Welcome to homeschooling. Your house has 847 pencils in it, yet your child can never find one.
Death: this is the afterlife
Me: ugh there’s more?
They call it Windows 10 cause it takes 10 hours to do a update
1 tblspoon salt
1/2 litre milk
2 tblspoons honey
200 gram wholeweat flour
30 grams sugar
– recipe for disaster
Caught myself staring into the medicine cabinet like I do with the refrigerator.