@I_Bl33d_Purple: At my age, you can spell Ibuprofen and Acetaminophen without googling it.
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@Iwriteforcats: Me: How much should I spend on an engagement ring? Jeweler: 3 months salary on the stone. Me: *Duct tapes pile of Fruity Pebbles together.
@KeetPotato: [inventing mint choc-chip] me: "people love ice cream right?" boss: "yes they do" me: "people love chocolate chips?" boss: "i hear ya" me: "know what else people love?" boss: "hit me" me: "brushing their teeth"
@heyevergreen: Dance like nobody's watching. Sing like nobody's listening. Walk around the party eating the cheeseball like an apple.