Autocorrect got me in trouble again when I invited the neighbors over for a friendly game of Go Fist.

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Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief


Would you like to learn about the Mormon Church?

“No thanks.”

Don’t judge too quickly. We have a lot of sects…



Did you know that according to FDA regulations a goblin can be labeled as a hobgoblin even if it contains only 3% hob


Why does everyone mention that in space no-one can hear you scream instead of mentioning something positive like how no-one can hear u yodel


[on a date]

“I usually don’t do this but..”

*runs out on date so she has to pay*


If we can’t hit our kids, what’s next? A society slowly becoming less violent as we learn more about child development and human psychology?


Morpheus: take the blue pill, the story ends. Take the red pill, I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes
Dog: (staring at gray pills) Crap


As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me