@recoveringbapti: Be on the lookout for a armed psychic midget who just robbed a bank and got away....the police now have a SMALL MEDIUM at LARGE!! ba dum dum
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@AbbieEvansXO: Me: I’m pregnant Him: OH NO Me: with emotion Him: oh, whew Me: because there’s a baby inside me
@notacroc: Son: why is my name Bince? Me: i missed the 'V' when i texted the doctor your name Son: can't we change it? Me: finish your homework Bince
@djdarrellripley: Her: All day long I've had the strangest feeling that someone's ..... watching me. Me: Why, do you hear laughter?