@jakob_huber: Be original. Don't just walk up to a girl in a bar. Pay bouncers to clear a path & cartwheel up to her. If rejected casually cartwheel away.
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@NewDadNotes: God: you’re a monitor lizard. Monitor: like a hall monitor? God: no that’s not what I me- Monitor: do you have a hall pass? God: what? [later in detention] Teacher: what are YOU doing here? God: I-I don’t know.
@Danny_McH2O: I met a girl that told me, "Make me laugh and I'm yours". So I pulled down my pants. Apparently, she didn't want to laugh that hard. :(
@david8hughes: [steps off treadmill] "Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--" "Shall I call an ambulance?" "Please."
@RelatableQuote: How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE