@TheOnion: ‘Becoming A Mother Has Been The Most Thrilling Experience Of My Life,’ Reports Woman Fleeing Hospital With Stolen Baby
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@ch000ch: step 1. log onto instagram step 2. find wedding day hashtags, ex. "SmithWedding2014" step 3. use hashtag step 4. post pictures of yaks
@HighOnDrunk: I don't mind coming to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is just ridiculous!
@PinkCamoTO: *lies down in bed* *closes eyes* *gets comfortable and relaxes* Brain: *blows into mic* *tap tap* Okay, so where was I...