Between toilet paper and forest fires, bears have a lot of responsibilities.

You Might Also Like


I just found $11 in my pocket and then mentally spent about $187 of it.


If Pokémon has taught me anything it’s that most of life’s problems can be solved by owning a rat that can electrocute people


Hey guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes, nobody likes you.


Wife: Valentine’s day is right around the corner.
Me: No worries, so is Wal-Mart.


Amoeba: dad, how was I made?

Amoeba Dad: well son, when a man loves himself very much


me: I have a phobia of very large numbers

therapist: I can help u

me: thanks a twelve


I bet the best massage in the world is getting attacked by a toothless shark.


5 years ago today I asked a beautiful girl out on a date. Today at 3pm I asked that girl to marry me. She said no both times.


Rarely does an interaction with someone end with me thinking “I guess I was wrong about people.”