Got so drunk last night that I was able to translate three Pearl Jam albums into English
Billboard just announced the song of the summer. It’s the sound of your spouse chewing.
You Might Also Like
me: I’ll take a platonic male friend that doesn’t treat me like their manic pixie therapist
lady: we have cole slaw
As Elon Musk opens a huge underground tunnel in LA, critics question his motives after a Thai football team is seen wandering into it.
*doesnt stand for national anthem as protest against people who don’t stand for national anthem*
the divorce rate among my socks is astonishing
Judge: Your word is McConaughey
Did I get it?
Judge: We have no idea
If you see a baby locked in a car break the window and put another baby in there, he’s probably lonely.
I’m tired and want to sleep, but I can’t stop imagining how the whole scenario of the first person to pee on a jellyfish sting went down