@molly7anne: billionaires spent their money on sex crimes and polluting the ocean. such bullshit. with a billion dollars you could probably get Jeff Goldblum to tuck you into bed or have Stevie Nicks put a hex on you. billionaires are so stupid.
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@Sarcasticsapien: Interviewer: Where were you born? Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: Why repent? I pented just last week.
@jonnysun: u are suposed to knock on watermelons befor u eat them to make sure that u are not eatimg anybodys home
@goldengateblond: College graduates look awfully happy for people who’ll never have an entire summer off again.
@booyahchadly: Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential.
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