bitcoin? isn’t that how people checked if gold was real?

You Might Also Like


My mom texted me asking what “DTF” meant and I told her “Dedicated To Family”…I seriously can’t wait for her to use it.


lobsters would be proud of themselves if they knew how expensive they were


Acid rain is total bullshit. I stood in it for hours and didn’t even hallucinate one time.


Hey, people “liking” Walmart on Facebook – you OK?


TORTURER: I’m gonna water-board u
ME: Hahaha, where u gonna find enough water
TORTURER: *takes Tupperware out of the dishwasher*
ME: Oh shit


The look on my husbands face while watching a Victoria’s Secret commercial tells me exactly where all my catalogs went.


Any ghost sophisticated enough to haunt a hotel is going to find the 13th floor whether you have an elevator button for it or not.


ME: *gets slapped in the face by a small reptile*

“And that’s for being a jerk to your wife!”

~ Karma Chameleon


lets play cops & robbers!
ok! i’ll be robber!
i’ll be cop!
*robber hides*
*cop just starts wrestling all the black kids in the neigborhood*