My friends definitely cannot handle their alcohol. Last night they dropped me 3 times carrying me out of the bar
You Might Also Like
I’ve found the most Canadian coffee shop in all existence.
Before murdering someone ask yourself: Am I justified? Will I find forgiveness? Did I pay for the shovel in cash?
Dad owl: I’m dying so I need you to look after things. I’m going to give you-
Son owl: Don’t say it
Dad: Power of a tawny
Son: [turns head]
[sees a shredded guy at the gym]
Me: cake tho
Bruce Banner with his hand stuck in a Pringles can, getting more and more frustrated
alcohol has an odd way of revealing who we really are. turns out, I’m batman.
I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you’ll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.
In all the times I’ve been to the circus I’ve never seen an Acrobat Reading.
Great. Only a single slice of bread left in the bag. That means until I find another slice, everything that happens today is in the sandwich