are they bowling to represent soup??? or to win soup???
Boss: “late again I see”
Brain: think of a good excuse!
Mouth: “your moms late.”
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People who write hai and bai, wai?
Before murdering someone ask yourself: Am I justified? Will I find forgiveness? Did I pay for the shovel in cash?
“Hey, man, just called to see when you’re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too.” -Radio Stations
Watching basketball while on the treadmill feels like reading a book about someone reading an even bigger & better book
People that proudly carry their yoga mats around town…
I get it. I carry my Burrito around with that same pride.
The movie ‘Up’ is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn’t die.
Fact: men are never too busy for sex. It’s been clinically proven, 9 out of 10 men will find time for sex while fleeing a burning building.
My wife asked me what new hairstyle she should get, so I held my breath until I passed out.