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@KRISTIN36467255: boss: why aren't you working?
me: i didn't see you coming!
@just1fool: Everyone should thank me for not being a doctor.
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: It says you're here for a blood test. First, some questions. Number one: over the last six months who's been a good boy?
@weinerdog4life: Blind Date Tip: In the middle of dinner throw a surprise punch to see if they are really blind
@RonHogan: I’m finding it hard to be angry at this guy, to be honest.
@LindseyEllison2: Woah! I can move stuff with my mind. Like, my legs.