@TheMichaelRock: Breaking News: Radio Shack is closing 1,100 stores nationwide.
Even Breakier News: I can't believe there's 1,100 Radio Shack's.
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@offbeatoliv: everybody gangster til u put a spider in their plastic easter egg
@AristotlesNZ: Cop failed me on the sobriety test even tho I not only touched my nose like he asked but went on & totally nailed the rest of the macarena.
@heatherlou_: My boss said if I tried to take Friday off, I could just take the rest of the year off so that's kinda neat.
@JoParkerBear: I am SO DONE WITH MEN. Most of them, anyway. At least one of them. I am SO DONE WITH AT LEAST ONE OF THE MEN.
@rolldiggity: Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
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