@SwedishCanary: I've spotted six Pokémon today but I don't have the Pokémon GO app so it may just be that I need my new meds adjusted.

@lildandeli0n: I'm pretty sure Kanye West is the reason why we arent allowed to retweet our own tweets.

@TumblrEdits: why is this so accurate

@singwithTaffy: I shall plucketh thine eyes from ye skull and make kebobs but with bendy straws instead of skewers cuz those are dangerous

@truegritrumble: (Teaching Kid to Ride a Bike) KID:Dad, I'm scared ME:It's okay. The closest tree is a mile away TREE:*rushes up to kid and clotheslines him*