[calculating calories]

Breakfast: 300
Lunch: 500
Dinner: 700
Snacking while preparing dinner: 8,374

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“No, not-”

I haven’t even given you my order yet

“I mean-”



Spanish: The h is silent
English: Many letters can be silent
French: All letters are meaningless, every living thing is born without reason


Is no shave November just for men?

Asking for my female Italian coworker and her mustache.


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him: I’m sorry about the sushi but your bio said “real fish person”

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A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else’s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.


Who called it anxiety and not revenge of the nerves?


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