right before u die apple should send you a final screen time report like “you spent 38% of your life looking at your phone” and its the last thing u see before u close your eyes forever , and youre looking at the notification instead of your grandson
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Last night I read that it takes people an average of 7 minutes to fall asleep. And then I laid awake the entire night thinking about that.
I hate to cancel plans, but in all honesty, when I made them earlier I was younger & full of hope.
JACOB MARLEY: 3 ghosts will visit you!
ME: do u count?
ME: you’re a ghost. Do u count?
JM: dude this the kinda shit they don’t like
[commercial for twitter]
hey do you love wasting time and also getting angry
Exposing kids to violent video games is appalling. They should be in church praying to a bloody statue of a man nailed to a cross in agony.
Don’t be sad, laundry.
nobody’s doing me either
Me: what’s the deal with airplane food
Baby: I don’t know it just tastes better when you make that noise
My english teacher was a fan of CAPITAL punishment. She despised small letters
DEATH RACE 2