@NoogsCorner: Canadian Army training is 6 weeks of learning how to throw a snowball.
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@warbird622: Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on Twitter right now.....
@ahamedweinberg: 2015. Worse than the death of paper is the death of staplers. Rest in peace you sexy plastic alligators.
@Brianhopecomedy: I babysat for the first time and it was just non-stop screaming. Next time I'll look before I lie down on the couch.