[Bomb will explode in 26 seconds]
*googles “how to defuse a bomb”*
*clicks top result*
*it’s a 17-page slideshow.*
*an ad plays*
Capt of Titanic: “Mayday! We are sinking”
Coastguard: “What happened?”
*Cthulhu makes throat-slit gesture with tentacle*
You Might Also Like
Taco Bell is planning on doubling the ‘meat’ in their ingredients. Unlike Cadbury, they’re informing us in advance.
sister: did you know about this?
mom: [watching my pallbearers dressed like the ninja turtles carry my casket] it’s what he wanted
Harry Potter Hair Evolution
X-rays are dangerous, they were probably less harmful when they were just rays, but after the breakup…
Life is not a FAIRY TALE.
If you lose your shoes 👟👞
YOU ARE DRUNK
“You could have done so much better than him.”
Me: Mom, I’m right here.
I can’t wait to stick my descriptive adjective all up in your noun until you verb all over my face.
God: you’re a yak.
Yak: actually i’m an emo cow.
Yak: why do you think I grew my hair out?
Yak: cause i’m going through some stuff right now.
Yak: guess my favorite band?
Yak: my chemoocal romance.
God: [nods] you ARE an emo cow.
I get Bi with a little help from my friends.