@SortaBad: Celebrating Easter by looking like I've been dead in a cave for the last 3 days
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@Reverend_Scott: *rubs magic lamp, genie appears* I wish for World peace. Genie: Can't do it. Million dollars? Genie: Listen bro, I lied on my genie resume.
@: [Lab] MONSTER: What is my name? "We'll call you…Frankenstein" MONSTER: But that is your name "Yeah, people won't make a big deal of it"
@thenatewolf: Avocados are like women: soft inside, dinosaur skin outside, big cricket ball in the middle, all the good ones are taken...