@LoveNLunchmeat: "Change is good," I explain to my daughter as I carefully apply the same color lipstick I've been wearing since I was 15 years old.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TwoSapphiresBlu: I crave feet in the sand, a gentle ocean breeze, the sun on my face, and two entirely new presidential candidates.
@iwearaonesie: wife *comes downstairs* How long has my mom been here? me: About an hour wife: me: wife *lets her in*
@Midgetspar: Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it.
@ibid78: [math teacher] your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you got them all correct [later at home] I think she's on to us, mathmachicken