This horse is a great reminder that our generation did not invent shitposting, it merely adapted it to another form
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is my favourite book about a weird guy who murders four children then convinces another to live with him.
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I know 5 people who are clinically insane
I’m two of them…
Doctor: How long ago did you injure your shoulder?
Women: 9:45am on Monday at work
Men: Sometime between yesterday and 2002
I remember when I was a kid I could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips 2 candy bars 6 packs of starburst and a cold drink. nowadays they got cameras everywhere
I downloaded the Pinterest app and now my phone is stuck in a mason jar.
me: any clue how my house burned down
me: *sadly* yeah I guess it does
[joins a conga line]
me: I can leave any time I like
[someone joins behind]
me: oh no
jokes don’t kill people, people who don’t get jokes kill people.
MORMON ELECTION GAME: Every time Romney becomes president, drink.
Billionaires: Don’t call us “billionaires” call us “people of means” also this hot tub water’s getting a bit too warm why are you adding carrots and potatoes