My coworker was like “I love kids! Can’t finish a whole one by myself though hahaha!” And I was just like wow I could easily eat like 5.
Chewbacca before you swallowbacca
You Might Also Like
that’s NOT YOUR CALL TO MAKE
*petting a dog*
So how long have you been blind, officer?
my dad: [rising up from behind couch]
the new ppl that live in that house now: wtf
New year new me, I say as I get a new me out of deep freeze and bury the old me in the woods
her: so are you a dog or cat person?
me: *long dramatic pause* well… i’m almost positive that i’m just a normal person..?
“OMG IT’S RAINING A LITTLE BIT AND NOW I’VE FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING I’VE EVER KNOWN!!!” – Drivers, apparently.
I swear, my kids will make me drive them to my own funeral. And then to the mall.
Instead of cursing and swearing when someone cuts me off in traffic, I just yell lyrics from Spice Girl songs out the window