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@Poutymcgee: *chugs down my 6th glass of wine and slams it on the table
Can I hold your baby?
@SallingsSam: For every selfie you take, the universe throws another rock at our planet.
@Bexdora: KING1: I bring you gold.
K2: I bring you frankincense.
K3: *drops pot of myrrh* *pot shatters* Oh. I bring you...erm...interpretive dance!
@HomeProbably: Material possessions mean nothing to me.
I don't think I can make it through this week.
@LoriLuvsShoes: It's really cute how my 16 slams her bedroom door, in the house that I pay for, every time she gets pissed off. So...I took away the door
@JournalismJunk: The closest I've come to a threesome is watching my wife and the nurse roll their eyes at the same time while I'm getting weighed.