If Iron Man and the Man of Steel were to team up, they’d be powerful alloys.
church choir: faatherr, sonn, aand hoolyy g-
[the ghostbusters barge in]
church choir, nervously: -oooats
[ghostbusters slowly back out]
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Sometimes I think I’m pretty well-read and other times I see the word “doing” and pronounce it like it rhymes with “boing.”
[scene of wreck]
cop: do you want an ambulance
me: no I’ll probably just buy another car
PSA: Don’t EVER let your printer know that you’ve waited until the last minute to print something out and you’re in hurry because they can sense fear.
Boss: It’s been a tough year Jim
J: Am I laid off?
J: What then?
B: You’re to be executed at noon.
J: This is bullshit
You don’t understand how hard it is to play Dungeons & Dragons when your dragon is gay, fabulous and always protesting violence. It’s hard.
I just licked guacamole off my elbow.
Sleeping Beauty was full of shit. No woman is that nice when you wake her up from a nap.
Star Wars (1977): A wounded warrior overcomes severe burn injuries to build a massive empire only to see his estranged son destroy it.