@LuckoftheDraw86: Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
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@WilliamAder: If it wasn't for the 140 character limit, I'd be on Chapter 27 of my first tweet right now.
@Tmoney68: Went in for my checkup yesterday. Hernia & prostate exams are really uncomfortable, but he's a great dentist so I let it go.
@AudreyPorne: [2.13am] me: when cows die do they become cow ghosts? imagine being haunted by a cow ghost. him: *deletes my number*