Ladies, have you ever slept with a man because he has a big fish that he caught in his profile picture?
Clinton and Trump now enter the part of the election where they each have to spend a week looking after an egg with “America” written on it.
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I don’t know who the pun editor of the NY Post is, but the headline PEACHES’ DEATH IS STILL FUZZY deserves a citation and/or beating.
My husband and I are having a serious fight.
Do you think I should let him know about it?
If your girlfriend says “my pyramid is late…”
Know two things:
1. Your hearing is poor
2. That’s not your biggest problem right now
trump may have a point about video game violence, ever since skyrim came out i’ve been climbing to high elevations and shouting bears off of cliffs and i don’t think it’s a coincidence
Drive me up the wall, so I know you’re 4 wheel
Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women. For example, Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.
Owls don’t look for a mate when it’s raining because it’s too wet to woo.
[commercial for kids]
woman *opens pantry and 6 bags of chips fall out* ARGH!
narrator: Are you tired of having food in your house?
Witch: *adding ingredients* Wilted flowers, lizard scale, raven’s breath, and a tear from a virgin.
Assistant: Are we making a potion for revenge?
Witch: No, I’m making La Croix