@markleggett: Clinton and Trump now enter the part of the election where they each have to spend a week looking after an egg with “America” written on it.
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@TheHatStore: dad: snapping a pic of your grandma in her coffin is weird me: it’s socially acceptable these days dad: just hurry up so we can put her back in the ground
@_chasing_amy: 9 just scolded me at the grocery for buying wine. I told him it was ok, I was 21 to which he loudly responded, Nooo, you're 38. Thanks son.