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@jjhartinger: [Commercial for Disneyland]
Are you sunburnt and broke? Want to?
@dafloydsta: [commercial for salad]
Do you want to feel sad when you eat?
@JaneBadall: Online relationships - For when you want to be disappointed by imaginary people, too.
@Swishergirl24: People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
@Kimpulses: You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
@chuuew: [first day of juice diet] my taco broke the blender