if chickens exchanged goods and services for a fixed price it would be called chicken tenders have a great day
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me: can you check my math homework?
me: is this not a correctional facility
If looks could kill, I’d still use a baseball bat.
Because I was late to the cannibal feast, they gave me the cold shoulder.
HR wants to have a little chat about my electric fence.
Shout out to the pack of wolves that raised me to be the lady I am today.
Brain: he must study-how?
*Hormones raise hand*
H: we could hit him with pimples, kill the social life?
It’s for his own good.
[brainstorming movie scripts]
writer: a romantic comedy? guy sees girl in red dress and falls in-
stephen king: what if it’s an evil dress
Wife *returns home* anyone called?
Me: yeah, 5 called the baby an idiot.