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@Skoogeth: cop: do you know who the murderer is?
detective quasimodo: i have a [takes off sunglasses] decent lead
cop: [obviously disappointed] oh
detective quasimodo: what?
cop: it’s just i thought you were gonna say you had a... nvm it’s not important
![cop: do you know who the murderer is?
detective quasimodo: i have a [takes off sunglasses] decent lead
cop: [obviously disappointed] oh
detective quasimodo: what?
cop: it’s just i thought you were gonna say you had a… nvm it’s not important](/cache/128164.jpg)
@living_marble: Technically, it's only cannibalism if you eat the top half of the mermaid, your honour.
@Parkerlawyer: Client said she needs to "find her zen" during our mediation and I don't think she knows that mediation and meditation are two diff things.
@VanVeenB: Tried pushing her against the wall to kiss her like all you guys suggested. Put her head right through the drywall. Goddam cheap motels.
@JuliePee: What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face. #watersportsgate #goldenshower
@psybermonkey: *attaches note to pigeon *stuffs pigeon into envelope
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