@hythemafia: How to fall downstairs...... Step 1 Step 6 Step 9,10,11,12

@Sickayduh: "Doctor, tennis has caused bad pain in my forearms" -There's nothing I can do "There isn't?" -Not until you bring in your other two arms

@: Dear Amazon, I bought a toilet seat because I needed one. Necessity, not desire. I do not collect them. I am not a toilet seat addict. No matter how temptingly you email me, I'm not going to think, oh go on then, just one more toilet seat, I'll treat myself.

@TheLemon_: You remind me of my big toe. Mainly, because I am going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own.

@DanMentos: I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve visited Chernobyl… it’s 14