the sequel to “Up” should be called “Up 2: No Good” who do I tell this to
Corn mazes should just be called maizes from now on
You Might Also Like
4: can I have two little muffins?
Me: how about I give you one and if you finish it, I’ll give you another one
4: no I want two NOWWWW
Me: let’s start with one
4: NOOOO TWOOOO
Me: just one
Me: FINE *gives her two*
4: *eats only one*
her: when I die can you bury me in my favorite dress
grave digger: I usually just wear my overalls
Good thing they had us dissect frogs in high school that prepared us for all the times in real life we’ve had to dissect frogs.
*does the Dirty Dancing lift with a slab of ribs*
I can’t come up with a guitar pun, but I won’t fret about it.
At his funeral. I lay my hand on your shoulder. I apply pressure, gently, in an attempt to move you from in front of the snack table.
Can I have the definition, please?
Turns out my top three hobbies are:
3) non-essential businesses
Sometimes a walk down memory lane is more of a blind, panicked sprint complete with windmill arms.