ME: one of my biggest pet peeves is people who think the world revolves around them
MY DATE, WHO IS THE SUN: i see
*Crawls into bed exhausted
Bladder: knock knock
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ME: Give me a second, I need to finish drying my panties first.
Relationship Status: I ate 7 bananas trying to get the new guy at work to notice me.
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CAT: no it’s definitely a bird
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Whenever you feel depressed, imagine someone tickling Kristen Stewart.