why is everyone concerned about dying alone i don’t even want people to see me eating spaghetti
Created by Jews, saves humanity.
Who, Jesus? No, dummy. Superman.
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Can u imagine getting married and having a family and staying in love until u die, then waiting in the afterlife for your wife to join you and she finally dies and ditches u for a dude she knew for three days on a boat instead?? Anyway I’d give Titanic a 9/10
You don’t have to say “I love you too,” pizza man.
But it was nice of you.
I can’t be certain, but pretty sure I just heard the dishwasher scream “please no more” when I walked in to the kitchen.
i’m sorry ms. jackson… i am
Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don’t remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.
All your most annoying Facebook friends have shared this with the caption “wow, really makes you think.
Walked into the bathroom and it sounded like someone was powerlifting in one of the stalls. That, or an exorcism.
Why do countries “cut ties”
when things get tense ?
So weird having men walk around
in suits and half ties.
My daughter saw a frog in the yard today so I won’t be leaving the house.