@OhSweetCharity: Damn boy, are you my yoga class? Because I want to get hot and sweaty with you in 37 different poses and then not be able to walk tomorrow.
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@Alex_N_Chains: Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence.
@ShortSleeveSuit: JUDGE: I order you to pay $10,000 - do you understand? MARIO: JUDGE: it’s a fine MARIO [sadly]: no itsa not
@krissywillbretz: A good way to get kicked out of church is to shout "HOLE!" after every chorus of "Glory, Glory, Glory".