Cat that has never been so insulted in all nine of its lives of the day.
Damn that is one huge cow. this is why I buy internet on flights. I almost saw that 6 hours after you guys did
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henry VIII found four more women to marry him after he cut his wife’s head off and i can’t get a txt back
If you factor in “supply and demand”… she DOES NOT want the D.
There is so much D trying to go around, not even the alphabet wants the D.
Oh, you love classic literature? Then name every ingredient in Corn Flakes, I’ll wait.
If you think my tweets are bad, hoo boy, you should meet me in person.
“Ha-ha who me? Oh, I put ketchup on everything!”
CAR SALESMAN: please stop putting ketchup on these Buicks.
Date tip: buy a calendar
‘It’s finally happened,’ I say as my handwriting deteriorates to the point where I can’t read it. ‘I’ve become a doctor.’
My bank called me for suspicious activity on my account & I was like “no, I went out last night”