@TheIronSherk
If pigs could fly it would make this pig catapult that I just built completely obsolete.
@primawesome
Dating is just deciding if you like a person more than being lonely, then choosing wrong.
You Might Also Like
@TheIronSherk
@krisv_723
*Lips to mike
Mike: Do I know you?
@machiavellino
(i go up to lady pushing baby in stroller and put my foot up on the stroller to address the baby) hey baby… is this woman bothering you
@kibblesmith
Hold up how is Popeye strong enough to squeeze a metal can of spinach into his mouth BEFORE he’s eaten the spinach
@KalvinMacleod
Slippers made out of Lego so that when you step on Lego you just get taller.
@mattZillaaaa
I had no idea we were still brushing our teeth.
@wolfpupy
@HistorylnMemes
@_Tempo11
Him: Send me a shower pic
Me:
@TweetPotato314
me: *slowly retracts hand from cereal box after failing to grasp the free toy*
wife: you really need to stop pretending to be a claw machine
me: *swallows another quarter* no