@knot_eye

Dear Ad Agencies,

Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials.

On behalf of dog owners everywhere,

Thanks!

You Might Also Like

@GaryJanetti

College graduates, did you know there are people that went to Princeton that can’t find a job? And you just went to a normal shitty school.

@Donna_McCoy

The dietitian told me peanut butter is healthy if I eat it with something low-calorie, so I chose a spoon.

@karlhess

in my opinion yamaha is probably the best grand piano/motorcycle company out there

@DaHess1

Her: What’s your fantasy?

Me: Movie theaters that charge kids 3 and under $500 per ticket.

@spcycucumber

Its not what it looks like officer!
“you were driving down the highway taking selfies singing n’sync”
Ok I guess it was what it looked like

@robin_991

I just accidentally read “Federal” as “Feral” and it made zero difference to the article.

@BuckyIsotope

KIDS: trick or treat
ME: hang on guys I’m still setting up the sushi bar. Who likes eel?

@215potter

Back in my day a “selfie,” was something you did with the door locked and a bottle of lotion.

@_Mo_lee_

Guys with balls hangin from ur truck. that would mean ur truck is a man,yes? Which means you like to be inside a dude all day. Lol homo. : p