@eileencurtright: Death hack: bury your loved ones with their fitness trackers for a low-cost early zombie alert system.
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@PaperWash: [Jesus opens his fortune cookie] SOMEONE WILL BETRAY YOU "Uh oh" YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS ARE 4 2 0 6 9 "Haha nice!"
@mamapojo: Pretty sure if I ever texted my hubs a nude pic of me, he'd probably respond "I think you meant to send this to someone else."
@ADDiane: [At the Dr] Me: but the voices won't stop. Dr: those are people, they're allowed to talk.