Sometimes you just have to roll down your car window and bark at people to see what they do.
Did you know that there is a little lonely man inside automatic towel dispensers that gives you a towel because he’s happy you waved to him?
You Might Also Like
You when you started twitter vs. you now.
[THE INVENTOR OF FLIP FLOPS]
What if you could clap with your feet?
Strip search? … OK, but I’m going to need some background music.
MAN!! My boss is always all “Blah blah blah!”, “You’re late!”, and “Get me more pictures of Spiderman!!”
[picking up a pile of things from one room] cleaning is fun! [throwing it into a room I’m in less] and Easy 🙂
My 3 year old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me. I told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I’ll listen to you for the rest of YOUR life.” Toddlers are cold-blooded, man.
In a recent sleep study performed by clowns 9 out of 10 people didn’t even know they were being watched.
Me: what do you want for breakfast?
7: a bowl of sugar
Me too kid, me too