I won a chocolate bunny at the carnival but it was a hollow victory.
Die Hard VIII: Die Even More Harder: Mostest Harderest.
You Might Also Like
Prisoner: You inked
Me: *thinking about my “I hate prisoners” back tattoo* No why
Hey wanna take the elevator with me and discuss what day of the week it feels like? And then we can go over what day it actually is, deal?
I only came to this school reunion because one of you’ve got my Wu Tang tape.
[first cat being domesticated]
What’s that thing your petting?
“It’s called a cat”
Do they bite?
“Oh ya LOL all the time!”
“Now we remove her blindfold and…”
*has panic attack, stabs camera man, vomits, jumps out closed window*
Why do people always talk in absolutes? I would never do that. It’s the worst.
Interviewer: Do you have any questions for me?
Me: When someone says you’re “cool as shit,” why is that a compliment?
Trump University is getting a bad rap. My nephew went there and he can poop in a toilet AND say the N-word.
I laughed way too hard at this 😂