@TasiaBass28: Dig one moat around your house and everyone's all "you're being unreasonable" and "where did you get the alligators"
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@BlindChow: DOG COP: sir, you ran a gray light DOG DRIVER: it was gray! COP: no, it was gray! DRIVER: gray! COP: *starts barking* DRIVER: *barking*
@carlyken: A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them.
@Chumpstring: Never bring a knife to a gunfight. Bring one of those long grabber sticks so you can take the other guy's gun away.