@Not_From_Troy: Doctor! Is it normal to have one leg longer than the other two?
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@tchrquotes: Every atom in your body is born in a star, traveled millions of light years, & through an amazing process became you. & you watch Teen Mom.
@khook32: Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away! Well grandma, that's how organ donation works.
@FredTaming: [ first date ] her: i want a partner that can open my heart me: well i am a surge- her: and never do anything to shock me me: protector
@squirrel74wkgn: Sorry honey, I didn't get you anything for Valentine's Day. Wife: It's not until next week... [one week later] Sorry honey, I didn't...