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@Not_From_Troy: Doctor! Is it normal to have one leg longer than the other two?
@krishna_van: "Give me a positive adjective..."
"Nice. Now how about a negative adjective?"
@linkindrinkin: me [eating applesauce]: gimme cinnamon
cinnamon: it’s $25 per dance
@IamEveryDayPpl: I had 3 crackers, a ketchup packet, and a yogurt that said "Liz's. Don't Touch!" for lunch in case anyone wondered if tomorrow is payday.
@stephaniehas: No autocorrect, I do not want to organism all over his face.
@TheReal_AndyMac: Someone once asked me if I was drunk.
I said yes.
That was the shortest job interview I've ever had.