@howe007: Doctor: tell me everything you told the nurse 5 minutes ago.
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@mattgallo123: It's funny, when I walk into a spider web I demolish his home and misplace his dinner yet I still feel like the victim.
@AlexRogaski: *Runs across campus to get to class on time* Whew! I made it! *Sits in the back and browses Twitter for an hour and a half*
@AngryBlackLady: Kylie Jenner is having a Handmaids Tale themed birthday party and Justin Bieber wants to fight Tom Cruise and boy howdy is that meteor late