I made a Tinder account for 1st time ever today for some blog research and it’s going pretty well.
Don’t talk to me about hardship. You guys will never have to refold a road map.
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I made a smoothie with oat milk. It was horrible. So next time I will use this recipe:
1.) Take carton of oat milk. Change name on carton to boat milk with sharpie.
2.) Next, float it out to middle of lake.
3.) Last, light it on fire like a Viking funeral.
Taco Bell implies the existence of all kinds of Taco Percussion
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
I do so love when I’m not on twit for a few hours and when I come back there’s something that everyone’s alluding to and I get to slowly piece together what happened like I’m reading the log on an abandoned ship
What if all this is just because the great game developer in the sky put us on autoplay?
I just found out my mum didn’t know how to set the clock on their new microwave. So they stayed up until midnight & then plugged it in
That moment when you hear a weird noise in the house and you’re so lazy you think “Meh, whatever. I had a good run.”
Pro tip: Sleep and nap with gloves on, so they can’t unlock your iPhone with your fingerprints.
I’m reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards