[drops your baby]
Me: shit, sorry. Let me get you another one

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The Olympics are my favorite 3 week event where I get to harshly judge people way better than me.


In case you haven’t checked Facebook,

It’s hot today, the fireworks were beautiful, and 32 friends invited you to play candy crush!


My husband’s favorite place to stand is right in front of whatever cabinet I need.


I have gained 8lbs and even though I’ve eaten a steady diet of junk food and sugar and only worked out three times in the last two months this seems really really unfair, you guys


Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones. Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire – to be water resistant.


son you’re getting older and one way I show my trust in you is letting you tackle some tough jobs on your own;
bathing the cat for starters


Laser hair removal? That’s dumb. If I had laser hair, I’d keep it.


#CanadianFakeNews Police in Northern Ontario are warning citizens of a vicious moose gang after one man was abducted and tied to the roof of his own pickup truck


my favorite animals at the zoo are just the random birds walking around like they belong. Go home pigeon, this is fancy bird town