@RyanKeith15: Drugs don't kill people. People that don't have drugs kill people.
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@om_eye_goodness: my 3 year old kept saying she “wants a spirit guest & needs a spirit guest” and “has a spirit guest” and like 4 exorcisms later, i realized she was just talking about asparagus.
@rockymomax: TRAINER: you know what they say ME: no pain! lo mein! TRAINER: it's "no gain" ME: (eating Chinese food) i like this better
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Snoop Dogg changed his name to Snoop Lion and says he's Bob Marley reincarnated, proving you can actually overdose on marijuana.
@Marcmywords2: Can you fail a drug test from a mosquito bite? Asking for the next person this mosquito bites.