@roxiqt: Dudes always say they want a goth girlfriend until you accidentally turn into a bat in front of their mom.
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@ehdannyboy: i have good and bad news Wife: Ok, the bad news? i didn't clean out the garage Wife:*sigh* the good news? [holds up cat dressed as Thor]
@Rollinintheseat: An app that tells you if there’s anyone at the grocery store you’ll have to make small talk with.
@KingRainhead: friend: i want a bf me: i want to hold the reins of 2 equally powerful, beautiful horses who run w/perfectly matched paces & also respect me